Dear Readers,
Today I thought we’d have some fun. There’s a one-liner that I’ve seen go around over the years that I always thought was cheesy. It goes a little something like this:
“I once played Poker with some Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died!”
From what I have read, this joke was thought up by a man named Steven Wright. Well, Steve, my condolences to you but now you have me wondering. Out of all of the possible combinations, what hand of Tarot cards in a full house could be interpreted as four people dying? That’s what I invite the audience to do today. Which of you can come up with the best possible combination that would predict our friend Steve losing four friends? The person with the most convincing answer will win a free surprise gift.
For those who might need an explanation for what a full house is: a full house is when you have three cards of the same rank with another two cards of a different but matching rank. For instance, if you had three sixes and two kings.
To keep things reasonable and true to the premise, we’re only counting cards that have equivalents in a modern playing card deck. So no Major Arcana. The obvious exception of course being the Knights and Pages who became replaced by the Jacks. They may be used but regular rules apply to them. You can’t have a Knight and a Page be the two Jacks in your hand. It’s either two Knights or two Pages.
May Hermes be with you!
The Stone Pillar 
I don’t know if you’ll count this, but here we go:
I’d have to stipulate that I would be using the “Double Majors” tarot deck, which has two of every card in the Major Arcana.
Then, I’d say: two Towers, and three Fives (of Pentacles, Wands, and Cups).
And, one would have to be especially pessimistic in one’s interpretation of the cards.
[ALSO: I owe you an e-mail! Apologies for the delay…I’ve been to the ER, urgent care, and finally came from my primary care doctor just now, and have a whole battery of tests to endure in the near future as well…eeesh!]
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Well, it technically violates the rules of the challenge as laid out in the post but it definitely gives us an idea of what our fabled killer full house might look like. Thank you for your contribution!
And may the Gods restore you to health
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Steven Wright is dealt 3♣ 3♠ 3. 6♣ 6♥. While he’s examining his hand the remaining four people at the table get into an argument, likely because some of them have been given Tarot as opposed to other cards. Things escalate, the dealer draws her gun and shoots the unruly gamblers. Wright lays out his cards, collects his winnings, and excuses himself from the table, surviving to tell his joke.
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Alright. Looks like you won. I’ll come up with something to send you
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